First-Order vs. Second-Order Change Matters for Habit Transformation

Many individuals attempt to replace old habits with better ones, but more often than not, these changes are short-lived. One of the main reasons for this is that people typically focus on first-order change—quick fixes or surface-level adjustments—when they should be fostering second-order change to create lasting transformation. The chart below highlights the key differences between first-order and second-order change.

First-and second-order change (Atos AT, 2013).

While first-order changes can be effective for some adjustments, other changes require second-order strategies to create lasting shifts in behavior and to alter one’s homeostasis. Therapeutic conversations around homeostasis often reference relationship systems that rely on feedback loops. These loops ensure that any disruption—whether internal or external—will be corrected to return to equilibrium. This concept is often discussed in the context of relationships between two or more individuals (Reiter, 2017; Gardner et al., 2006). However, it also applies to the relationship we have with ourselves.

For meaningful and lasting changes, it’s crucial to understand the role of feedback loops. A "negative feedback loop" describes a pattern of interactions within a system that maintains the status quo, often reinforcing unhealthy behaviors or dynamics. On the other hand, a "positive feedback loop" encourages change and adaptation, fostering healthier interactions and helping resolve issues (Reiter, 2017; Smith & Karem, 2019).

To create lasting change, it’s important to focus on small, incremental steps that address the underlying patterns and rules of interaction, rather than simply adjusting surface-level behaviors. You can refer to the worksheet here to help you get started.

References:

Reiter, M. D. (2017). Family therapy: an introduction to process, practice and theory. Routledge.

Gardner, B. C., Burr, B. K., & Wiedower, S. E. (2006). Reconceptualizing strategic family therapy: Insights from a dynamic systems perspective. Contemporary Family Therapy, 28, 339-352.

Smith, M., & Karam, E. (2019). Positive feedback in family systems theory. In Encyclopedia of couple and family therapy (pp. 2245-2247). Cham: Springer International Publishing.

Nurturing a Balanced Life

When individuals think about achieving a balanced life, they often focus on work and family needs, but overlook the importance of self-care. Overcommitting to one or two areas can cause others to suffer. For example, dedicating excessive energy to work can deplete the capacity to nurture family and self-care. Similarly, prioritizing family too much can drain the energy needed for both work and self-care. The same principle applies to focusing too much on self-care at the expense of work and family, as those areas may not receive the attention they need to thrive. It’s essential to cultivate a balanced lifestyle where self-care, family, and career are all nurtured through healthy boundaries and intentional choices.

A worksheet such as this one here, can help with setting intentions and taking steps each week to achieve a more balanced life.

What are your key focus points?

Focus points are essential for staying within your window of tolerance. Just as a dancer fixes their gaze on a specific point to maintain balance, direction, and alignment, having a focus point helps you stay grounded, feel more balanced, and manage stress when life feels like a whirlwind. By directing attention toward things within your control—such as physical activity, social connections, prioritizing tasks, setting realistic personal and professional goals, and establishing healthy boundaries in relationships and work—you can reduce stress and maintain a sense of calm.

A worksheet such as this one here, can help with pinpointing focus points and steps that can help maintain focus in those areas.